Sunday, May 8, 2011

"Just a Mother"?

When you walk into my house you will see broken crayons and scattered toys rather than a show house for Better Homes and Gardens.
You will see finger paintings over Picassos,
Thrift store finds over designer fashions and
puppet shows over Broadway productions.
I have no degree adorning my walls;
No big paycheck complete with benefits and vacation days.
Makeup and hairdos are only if I have time (or energy for that matter) and
gold chains have been replaced by macaroni necklaces and Wal-Mart stickers.
I have forgotten what it’s like to potty or shower without someone in the room talking to me or sticking their toes and fingers under the doors, and a full nights sleep is something I vaguely remember.
I can’t eat a meal or drink a drink without sharing because of COURSE mama’s ALWAYS tastes better, even if it IS the same thing! The last bite of dessert is never mine and my dinner is often cold.
I am not the perfect mother. I often take the easy way out and opt for take out rather than making a home cooked meal. I am sometimes (ok a lot of times) caught searching through the “clean pile” of clothes cause I chose to sleep after my kids FINALLY crashed instead of doing laundry. My house isn’t always spotless, my kids are seldom in bed at the same time each night, and sometimes I let them spoil their dinner with treats cause I’m craving chocolate and fair is fair.
I sometimes forget that kids are just that….kids. They will scream, run, push, tattle, yell, jump, make messes, refuse to eat, push boundaries and even say things they don’t really mean. It’s nothing against me. It’s not because they don’t appreciate me. It’s not because they don’t love me. It’s because they are kids and I know there will come a day when I will miss the little crazy things they do, and the little things that make me cry today will make me laugh later. (Most likely when they are complaining to me about their kids doing it all to them, giggles evilly) Sometimes I leave the finger prints on the fish tank , windows and mirrors for days cause I know that before I know it I will miss seeing those little fingerprints all over the house. (Ok ok, and cause I know that the fingerprints will be replaced before the windex ever even makes it back to the cupboard)
It’s not always easy to be patient when you have to catch the crickets your son let out when trying to be a big boy and feed the lizard on his own, or when your daughter writes her name on the walls to practice when she couldn’t find paper or when your kids say they hate you cause you make them clean their room.
It’s not easy to discipline your child when you are trying hard not to laugh at the make up they put on their face, or the dress they put on their brother, or when they pray for members of the family to not be so grouchy anymore.
It’s impossible not to hurt when they hurt, be scared when they are scared, or cry when they cry. A child is truly just a piece of your heart detached from your body and molded into a walking, crying, laughing, miniature version of you.
I have had people ask me before why I would want to sell myself and all my talents and abilities short and allow myself to be content with “only being just a mother” and living a life of nothing but constant service. Don’t I want to see the world, meet new and interesting people, and do something with my life that will change the world and live on long after I am gone? Really? To me those very words describe a mother.
Every night I get to travel to the most wonderful places and meet the most interesting people, all while sitting comfy and cozy in my pjs. We hunt monsters, slay dragons, go on wild adventures with mice and raccoons, and even help rescue a princess from time to time. I’ve gotten to go to outer space, ridden horses through the wild west, and even have had the honor of traveling to exotic places that can only be found in the jungles of my children’s imaginations.
I was told as a kid that I could be anything I wanted to be when I grew up. Why settle for just one? As a mother I get to be a nurse, a doctor, a lawyer, a judge, a chef, and actress, a hair and makeup designer, a party planner, a physiatrist, an engineer, a coach, a cheerleader, a professional organizer, a guidance counselor, a drill instructor, a psychic, an author, and artist, and most of all a teacher, just to name a few. And though my everyday activities may seem mundane, unimportant, or even unappreciated to some (ok and sometimes even to me) I know that there is nothing more important or more significant that I can do than to be a mother. Sometimes as mothers we wonder if we are really making a difference, if we are really reaching them….then they do something to make our hearts and eyes swell with pride and we realize that we are. Those little moments are simply amazing.
Weather we are stay at home moms, working moms, single moms, empty nester moms, new moms, seasoned moms, or moms without children (yes there is such a thing) we have been given such an amazing power and privilege in helping to help make this world and the future a better place. We each have unique skills, talents and abilities that make us able to touch the world and it’s children in ways that only we can. Our kids, and even the other kids we help teach and guide throughout our lives, are our true legacy. A way to leave everything that is good inside us behind to continue to touch the world long after we are gone.
Nothing brings me more peace than my child sleeping on my chest and feeling their heartbeat next to mine. Nothing makes me smile more than my kids yelling MOM! And throwing their arms around my neck and showering me with sticky lil kisses or finding little misspelled notes around the house telling me that I am the best mom in the whole world and how much they love me. Nothing makes my heart more proud then watching my child excel in something or going outside of their own little worlds to help someone in need. The little every day rays of sunshine quickly dry up any and all raindrops that ever fall.

I am proud to be called mother, no other name has ever been as sweet.
I love my little blessings with all that I am and with every heartbeat.
Sometimes I run low on patience, sometimes I wonder what I’ve done wrong,
Then they do so something that just blows me away and makes my faith grow strong.
I don’t know why Heavenly Father has sent such special children into my care,
But I am grateful for His faith in me and His comfort in my times of despair.
There is no greater legacy that I could ever leave behind,
Then instilling what is good in me into these little monsters I get to call mine. <3

Angel L. Trimble